I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
