You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
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