so that wasnt chicken after all
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
