u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
one two three fourrrrnication!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
