After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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