I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
