Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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