physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
