that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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