But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
