I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
