TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
