Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
