but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize