theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
