I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
