Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
