Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
