It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
