That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
