I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
