either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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