there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
