I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
