She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
