fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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