im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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