Im at strip club and am horny
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
