dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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