It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
im holly from the hills drunk
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
