So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize