like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
