I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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