too bad you live with your parents still
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Sorry my hands just texted you
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
