My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
