I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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