Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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