for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize