I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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