you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
