? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
