Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
