normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
