So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
