Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Text me some of your sweat
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