There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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