My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
