...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
When are your genitals available?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize