Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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