I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
It's just like the Real World with babies
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize