ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
