oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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