Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He has the fingertips of a God
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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