if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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