okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
