She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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