I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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