we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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