Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.

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(530): View more from California

she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.

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(916): View more from California

when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.

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(563): View more from Iowa

Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...

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