dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize