saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My vagina just clenched in fear
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
