I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
